Coarse Rugby

A few days after the Grand Final I was conversing with a local friend (geographically, a bit too far away to be considered a neighbour but that would cover the relationship equally well if they lived closer) about the match.  They commented that it was a bit wet.  My response was that while at Uni in England I loved playing in the rain, especially if the cattle were not long out of the paddock.

This caused me to think about the greatest book ever written on Rugby (and I am not sure that the qualification is necessary).  This is of course "The Art of Coarse Rugby" by Michael Green.  The general principle of Coarse Sports was defined in a later book as:

• "A coarse sportsman is one who, on hearing that his club has received a grant from the National Sports Council, votes to spend the entire amount on extending the bar."

In the rugby book - possibly in the foreword, it has been about 40 years since I read it - Green comments that a reader who hasn't played at this level will consider all the stories far fetched and unrealistic.  In contrast, those who have played the game will wonder why he has omitted all the really funny bits!  He puts in quite a bit of effort to differentiating the Coarse Rugby player from the Rugger chaps.  this is summarised as the former play the game to get fit while the latter get fit to play the game.

I played for three teams that fitted the definition of Coarse Rugby:

• Adelaide University 3rds (there was no 4th team).  This comprised a bunch of guys in their thirties who had played at various levels for many years, with a smattering of young lads who were keen to try out their skills.  It was fun to watch the junior members try out some naughty tricks they'd observed from the old guys: they learnt quickly that if you were 19 years old and 55kgs in weight you didn't punch a 30 year old 120Kg Samoan.  Or at least not twice!
• Wye College Seconds.  See above for cow paddock references.  I did also play a few games for the 1sts but was quite successful in educating the other members of the team as to the way things should be done.  The disadvantage of this team was that one of our lecturers was the ref for home games and unfortunately over the three years I played acquired a good knowledge of the ad hoc way we interpreted some of the rules.
• Maldon Vikings An archetypal Coarse Rugby team- even the name is redolent of Green's team, the Bagford Vipers.  Our games against the Felixstowe Saxons were particularly memorable.  It is a worry that the club as a whole now seems to be called the Vikings: it used to be reserved for the second (or gentleman's) XV.   I also remember the patron of the club - a chap of about 50 years of age turning up for the odd game (and of course he was always selected).  Apart from being an all round nice guy, and the owner of a good pub, he was helpful in that he could fit 6 other players in his Rolls Royce for transport to the ground (we changed at another Pub about 1km from the pitch).  After a wet game, his upholstery became rather muddy on the way back to the sheds, but apparently his staff were good at cleaning that up.